TOEFL ESSAY 010100032
In the future students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools Which would you prefer Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice
Hitech products such as computers and television had become an important part of people’s life in the last two decades According to this surge in technological development some people suggest that in the future using computers and television students will study at home instead of going to school Though the traditional way of studying at school may have several drawbacks I prefer to study with my friends and to attend a wide range of activities at school
Every individual is unique so people learn new things in different ways The new way of studying will enables me to learn in the most efficient way Moreover I can receive tremendous personal attention from my teachers’ thus this mechanism guarantee high quality education for me all the time
However though innovative these achievements are in teaching methods there are some lethal defects that can never be eliminated making staying at home less attractive to me One of the most attracting factors of going to school is the friendship After class students hang out or have meal together Everyone including me needs friend Imagine I study at home apart from my families everyday what I face is the computer or the television and there is no one I can talk to except the dull machine Neither can I enjoy myself lying with my friends on the grass land nor can I play sports games after school I would rather die than to have school like this
Another reason for me to have doubt that whether or not this new teaching method works goes as follow In traditional schools students not only gain knowledge from the textbooks but also learn how to survive in this society practically by attending social works or students’ clubs involving hot debates and making presentations In this way students gain the reallife experience before truly entering the society and have a fairly colorful and interesting school life For me this is the ideal type of education which combines both pleasure and usefulness
Much of the criticism of traditional schools stems from its lack of personal attention and teaching diversity However I am not the person who claims for strong personal attention and the current education is ok for me In summary I prefer to study at school
Editor’s comment
You have made very good points and you have shown your stand in a pretty clear way I commend your composition for making it simple and straightforward which makes it easy to understand or comprehend It was good that you indented your paragraphs which can be taken for granted by a number students
It would be better if you cite a few more examples next time in order to support your stand on the topic I noticed that you exceeded the maximum number of words requirement Make sure to take note of the quality of your essay instead of the quantity Grammar is not much of a problem although a little polishing on this area will render improvement Also take note of your prepositions and flow of your sentences If you will notice I paraphrased and rearranged few of your sentences in order establish a sequence and a clearer point of view As a whole your composition can get a score of 35
Editing marks
Hitech products such as computers and television havehad become an important part of people’s liveslife in the last two decades Based from According to this surge in technological development some people have suggested that in the future students can study at home using computers and television instead of going to schoolsuggest that in the future using computers and television students will study at home instead of going to school Though the traditional way of studying at school may have several drawbacks I still prefer to study with my friends and to attend a wide range of activities at school
Every individual is unique so people learn new things in different ways The new way of studying will enables me to learn in the most efficient way Moreover I can receive tremendous personal attention from my teachers’ thus this mechanism guarantees high quality education for me all the time
However Although innovative these achievements are in teaching methods are innovative there are still some flawslethal defects that can never be eliminated making staying at home less attractive to me One of the motivatingmost attracting factors of going to school is the friendship Everybody needs friends including me After class students hang out or have meals together Everyone including me needs friend Imagine Iif II study at home I would only spend time and deal with my family the computer and television aside from my family computer and television are what I would face everydayapart from my families everyday what I face is the computer or the television and there There would be no one else to talk to is no one I can talk to except for the dull machines at home Neither can I enjoy myself lying with my friends on the grass land nor can I play sports or games after school I would rather die than to have schooling like this
Another reason for me to have doubt that whether or not this new teaching method works is that in traditional schools students not only gain knowledge from the textbooks but also learn how to survive in thethis society This can be achieved practically by attending social works or students’ clubs involving in hot debates and making presentations In this way students accomplish a fairly colorful and interesting school life and gain the reallife experience before truly entering the society and have a fairly colorful and interesting school life For me this is the ideal type of education which combines both pleasure and usefulness
Much of the criticism of traditional schools stems from its lack of personal attention and teaching diversity However I am not the person who yearnsclaims for strong personal attention
and Thethe current education is acceptable alrightok for me and In summary I prefer to study at school
《香当网》用户分享的内容，不代表《香当网》观点或立场，请自行判断内容的真实性和可靠性！
该内容是文档的文本内容，更好的格式请下载文档
In the future students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools Which would you prefer Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice
Hitech products such as computers and television had become an important part of people’s life in the last two decades According to this surge in technological development some people suggest that in the future using computers and television students will study at home instead of going to school Though the traditional way of studying at school may have several drawbacks I prefer to study with my friends and to attend a wide range of activities at school
Every individual is unique so people learn new things in different ways The new way of studying will enables me to learn in the most efficient way Moreover I can receive tremendous personal attention from my teachers’ thus this mechanism guarantee high quality education for me all the time
However though innovative these achievements are in teaching methods there are some lethal defects that can never be eliminated making staying at home less attractive to me One of the most attracting factors of going to school is the friendship After class students hang out or have meal together Everyone including me needs friend Imagine I study at home apart from my families everyday what I face is the computer or the television and there is no one I can talk to except the dull machine Neither can I enjoy myself lying with my friends on the grass land nor can I play sports games after school I would rather die than to have school like this
Another reason for me to have doubt that whether or not this new teaching method works goes as follow In traditional schools students not only gain knowledge from the textbooks but also learn how to survive in this society practically by attending social works or students’ clubs involving hot debates and making presentations In this way students gain the reallife experience before truly entering the society and have a fairly colorful and interesting school life For me this is the ideal type of education which combines both pleasure and usefulness
Much of the criticism of traditional schools stems from its lack of personal attention and teaching diversity However I am not the person who claims for strong personal attention and the current education is ok for me In summary I prefer to study at school
Editor’s comment
You have made very good points and you have shown your stand in a pretty clear way I commend your composition for making it simple and straightforward which makes it easy to understand or comprehend It was good that you indented your paragraphs which can be taken for granted by a number students
It would be better if you cite a few more examples next time in order to support your stand on the topic I noticed that you exceeded the maximum number of words requirement Make sure to take note of the quality of your essay instead of the quantity Grammar is not much of a problem although a little polishing on this area will render improvement Also take note of your prepositions and flow of your sentences If you will notice I paraphrased and rearranged few of your sentences in order establish a sequence and a clearer point of view As a whole your composition can get a score of 35
Editing marks
Hitech products such as computers and television havehad become an important part of people’s liveslife in the last two decades Based from According to this surge in technological development some people have suggested that in the future students can study at home using computers and television instead of going to schoolsuggest that in the future using computers and television students will study at home instead of going to school Though the traditional way of studying at school may have several drawbacks I still prefer to study with my friends and to attend a wide range of activities at school
Every individual is unique so people learn new things in different ways The new way of studying will enables me to learn in the most efficient way Moreover I can receive tremendous personal attention from my teachers’ thus this mechanism guarantees high quality education for me all the time
However Although innovative these achievements are in teaching methods are innovative there are still some flawslethal defects that can never be eliminated making staying at home less attractive to me One of the motivatingmost attracting factors of going to school is the friendship Everybody needs friends including me After class students hang out or have meals together Everyone including me needs friend Imagine Iif II study at home I would only spend time and deal with my family the computer and television aside from my family computer and television are what I would face everydayapart from my families everyday what I face is the computer or the television and there There would be no one else to talk to is no one I can talk to except for the dull machines at home Neither can I enjoy myself lying with my friends on the grass land nor can I play sports or games after school I would rather die than to have schooling like this
Another reason for me to have doubt that whether or not this new teaching method works is that in traditional schools students not only gain knowledge from the textbooks but also learn how to survive in thethis society This can be achieved practically by attending social works or students’ clubs involving in hot debates and making presentations In this way students accomplish a fairly colorful and interesting school life and gain the reallife experience before truly entering the society and have a fairly colorful and interesting school life For me this is the ideal type of education which combines both pleasure and usefulness
Much of the criticism of traditional schools stems from its lack of personal attention and teaching diversity However I am not the person who yearnsclaims for strong personal attention
and Thethe current education is acceptable alrightok for me and In summary I prefer to study at school
《香当网》用户分享的内容，不代表《香当网》观点或立场，请自行判断内容的真实性和可靠性！
该内容是文档的文本内容，更好的格式请下载文档