愚节英文笑话短信
joke 1
wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day) i wish i were a newspaper so i’ll be in your hands all day
husband i wish that too so i could change you daily
joke 2
a little boy asked his father daddy how much does it cost to get married
the father replied i don ’t know son i ’m still paying
joke 3
at midnight father saw that his married son leaving home he asks him what are you doing
the son replied dad i am fed up with my life my newly marriage is not going well my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other i have to pay bills for my inlaws and i hate this life i want to go far from here i want to taste every joy of life and i want to have every fun of life
father said wait i am coming with you
joke 4
a woman goes to england to attend a 2week company training session her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip
the wife answered thank you honey what would you like me to bring for you
the husband laughed and said an english girl
the woman kept quiet and left two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked so honey how was the trip
the wife very good thank you
the husband and what happened to my present
the wife which present
the husband what i asked for the english girl
the wife oh that well i did what i could now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl
joke 5
a couple goes to an art gallery they find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves the wife doesn ’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking the wife asks what are you waiting for the husband replies autumn
joke 6
a man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks() him on the head with a frying pan what the hell was that for he asks that was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name mary ellen written on it she replies don ’t be silly he says two weeks ago when i went to the races(赛马) mary ellen was the name of one of the horses i bet on she seems satisfied at this and she apologizes three days later he ’s again sitting in his chair reading when she nails(俚语) him with an even bigger frying pan knocking him out cold when he comes around he asks again what the hell was that for your fucking horse just phoned
joke 7
wife to husband you were so drunk last night that you insulted your boss
husband piss on him wife you did and he fired you
husband fuck him
wife i did and you can go back to work tomorrow
joke 8
a couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence not a word was said to each other an earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position as they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs the wife sarcastically asked relatives of yours yep the husband replied inlaws
joke 1
wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day) i wish i were a newspaper so i’ll be in your hands all day
husband i wish that too so i could change you daily
joke 2
a little boy asked his father daddy how much does it cost to get married
the father replied i don ’t know son i ’m still paying
joke 3
at midnight father saw that his married son leaving home he asks him what are you doing
the son replied dad i am fed up with my life my newly marriage is not going well my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other i have to pay bills for my inlaws and i hate this life i want to go far from here i want to taste every joy of life and i want to have every fun of life
father said wait i am coming with you
joke 4
a woman goes to england to attend a 2week company training session her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip
the wife answered thank you honey what would you like me to bring for you
the husband laughed and said an english girl
the woman kept quiet and left two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked so honey how was the trip
the wife very good thank you
the husband and what happened to my present
the wife which present
the husband what i asked for the english girl
the wife oh that well i did what i could now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl
joke 5
a couple goes to an art gallery they find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves the wife doesn ’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking the wife asks what are you waiting for the husband replies autumn
joke 6
a man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks() him on the head with a frying pan what the hell was that for he asks that was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name mary ellen written on it she replies don ’t be silly he says two weeks ago when i went to the races(赛马) mary ellen was the name of one of the horses i bet on she seems satisfied at this and she apologizes three days later he ’s again sitting in his chair reading when she nails(俚语) him with an even bigger frying pan knocking him out cold when he comes around he asks again what the hell was that for your fucking horse just phoned
joke 7
wife to husband you were so drunk last night that you insulted your boss
husband piss on him wife you did and he fired you
husband fuck him
wife i did and you can go back to work tomorrow
joke 8
a couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence not a word was said to each other an earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position as they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs the wife sarcastically asked relatives of yours yep the husband replied inlaws
one girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin
女孩神父告解犯罪………
girl father i have sinned
女孩：神父罪
preacher what did you do little girl
神父：孩子犯什麽罪呢？
girl yesterday i called a man a son of a bitch
女孩：昨天骂某男句 「狗娘养 」
preacher why what did he do to you
神父：什麽？做什麽？
girl he touched my breast
女孩：……摸胸部
preacher you mean like this (the guy did it)
神父：说样子？（神父伸手摸女孩胸部）
girl (a little shy from the touch) yes
女孩：（神父举动害羞）嗯……
preacher thats no reason to call him that
神父：样子话没理骂啊
girl but he also took off my cloth
女孩：……衣服脱掉……
preacher you mean like this (he did it again)
神父：说样子？（神父动手脱掉女孩衣服）
girl yes thats what he did
女孩：样子没错
preacher thats still no reason to call him that
神父：样子没理骂啊
girl and he put his youknowwhat into my youknowwhat
女孩：然後………………放…………里面……
preacher (evil laugh) you mean like this (and youknowwhat)
神父：（奸笑貌）说样子？（神父女孩）
girl (after a few minutes) ugh yeah thats what he did
女孩：（数分钟後）喔…………样子………
preacher my dear girl thats still no reason to call him a
神父：亲爱孩子算样没理骂「………」
girl but he had aids
女孩：爱滋病呀
preacher that son of a bitch
神父：狗娘养
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joke 1
wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day) i wish i were a newspaper so i’ll be in your hands all day
husband i wish that too so i could change you daily
joke 2
a little boy asked his father daddy how much does it cost to get married
the father replied i don ’t know son i ’m still paying
joke 3
at midnight father saw that his married son leaving home he asks him what are you doing
the son replied dad i am fed up with my life my newly marriage is not going well my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other i have to pay bills for my inlaws and i hate this life i want to go far from here i want to taste every joy of life and i want to have every fun of life
father said wait i am coming with you
joke 4
a woman goes to england to attend a 2week company training session her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip
the wife answered thank you honey what would you like me to bring for you
the husband laughed and said an english girl
the woman kept quiet and left two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked so honey how was the trip
the wife very good thank you
the husband and what happened to my present
the wife which present
the husband what i asked for the english girl
the wife oh that well i did what i could now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl
joke 5
a couple goes to an art gallery they find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves the wife doesn ’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking the wife asks what are you waiting for the husband replies autumn
joke 6
a man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks() him on the head with a frying pan what the hell was that for he asks that was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name mary ellen written on it she replies don ’t be silly he says two weeks ago when i went to the races(赛马) mary ellen was the name of one of the horses i bet on she seems satisfied at this and she apologizes three days later he ’s again sitting in his chair reading when she nails(俚语) him with an even bigger frying pan knocking him out cold when he comes around he asks again what the hell was that for your fucking horse just phoned
joke 7
wife to husband you were so drunk last night that you insulted your boss
husband piss on him wife you did and he fired you
husband fuck him
wife i did and you can go back to work tomorrow
joke 8
a couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence not a word was said to each other an earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position as they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs the wife sarcastically asked relatives of yours yep the husband replied inlaws
joke 1
wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day) i wish i were a newspaper so i’ll be in your hands all day
husband i wish that too so i could change you daily
joke 2
a little boy asked his father daddy how much does it cost to get married
the father replied i don ’t know son i ’m still paying
joke 3
at midnight father saw that his married son leaving home he asks him what are you doing
the son replied dad i am fed up with my life my newly marriage is not going well my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other i have to pay bills for my inlaws and i hate this life i want to go far from here i want to taste every joy of life and i want to have every fun of life
father said wait i am coming with you
joke 4
a woman goes to england to attend a 2week company training session her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip
the wife answered thank you honey what would you like me to bring for you
the husband laughed and said an english girl
the woman kept quiet and left two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked so honey how was the trip
the wife very good thank you
the husband and what happened to my present
the wife which present
the husband what i asked for the english girl
the wife oh that well i did what i could now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl
joke 5
a couple goes to an art gallery they find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves the wife doesn ’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking the wife asks what are you waiting for the husband replies autumn
joke 6
a man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks() him on the head with a frying pan what the hell was that for he asks that was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name mary ellen written on it she replies don ’t be silly he says two weeks ago when i went to the races(赛马) mary ellen was the name of one of the horses i bet on she seems satisfied at this and she apologizes three days later he ’s again sitting in his chair reading when she nails(俚语) him with an even bigger frying pan knocking him out cold when he comes around he asks again what the hell was that for your fucking horse just phoned
joke 7
wife to husband you were so drunk last night that you insulted your boss
husband piss on him wife you did and he fired you
husband fuck him
wife i did and you can go back to work tomorrow
joke 8
a couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence not a word was said to each other an earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position as they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs the wife sarcastically asked relatives of yours yep the husband replied inlaws
one girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin
女孩神父告解犯罪………
girl father i have sinned
女孩：神父罪
preacher what did you do little girl
神父：孩子犯什麽罪呢？
girl yesterday i called a man a son of a bitch
女孩：昨天骂某男句 「狗娘养 」
preacher why what did he do to you
神父：什麽？做什麽？
girl he touched my breast
女孩：……摸胸部
preacher you mean like this (the guy did it)
神父：说样子？（神父伸手摸女孩胸部）
girl (a little shy from the touch) yes
女孩：（神父举动害羞）嗯……
preacher thats no reason to call him that
神父：样子话没理骂啊
girl but he also took off my cloth
女孩：……衣服脱掉……
preacher you mean like this (he did it again)
神父：说样子？（神父动手脱掉女孩衣服）
girl yes thats what he did
女孩：样子没错
preacher thats still no reason to call him that
神父：样子没理骂啊
girl and he put his youknowwhat into my youknowwhat
女孩：然後………………放…………里面……
preacher (evil laugh) you mean like this (and youknowwhat)
神父：（奸笑貌）说样子？（神父女孩）
girl (after a few minutes) ugh yeah thats what he did
女孩：（数分钟後）喔…………样子………
preacher my dear girl thats still no reason to call him a
神父：亲爱孩子算样没理骂「………」
girl but he had aids
女孩：爱滋病呀
preacher that son of a bitch
神父：狗娘养
文档香网(httpswwwxiangdangnet)户传
《香当网》用户分享的内容，不代表《香当网》观点或立场，请自行判断内容的真实性和可靠性！
该内容是文档的文本内容，更好的格式请下载文档